When Your Parents Don’t Approve Of Your Fiancé

Kansas Wedding Articles » Wedding Etiquette

Some brides and grooms go through the tremendous challenge of finding the one they love – and they discover that it is someone that their parents do not approve of. Parents may not approve of this person because they are a different religion or a different culture. Other parents may disapprove for other reasons. For whatever reasons – what matters most is your happiness. You deserve to be with the one you love. You deserve to marry the love of your life. That is the most important thing of all.

Our parents see us as different people. Actually very often our parents see us as children. This makes sense because our parents have raised us. They remember when we were not able to make decisions. They remember when we were still learning how to read and how to write. They remember when we graduated from high school or when we learned how to drive. We made good decisions and bad decisions. They worry about us – they are our parents and that is what parents do. It is your responsibility to let your parents see you as a grown adult capable of making good decisions. You want your parents to see that you are smart and wise and know what you are doing. While your parents may be frustrating and even a bit of a busy-body – most of the time they truly mean well by what they say.

Occasionally our parents disapprove of our choices for valid reasons. You may have chosen someone who simply doesn’t know how to handle money. Or you have chosen someone with an awful temper. Or you have chosen a partner who has been unfaithful in the past. It is important to think not just with your heart but also with your head. If your partner has these issues, sometimes love truly does not conquer all. Yes, people are capable of changing. But it can be very hard to change someone who does not want to change themselves. Many people with extreme problems do not want to change their issues – they simply want to live their dysfunctional lives and be facilitated with their choices supported by their partners. Someone with drug or alcohol abuse will select a partner who also does this or someone who selectively chooses to ignore the abuse and to not see it. So if your parents raise these issues, try not to lose your temper – and look at these issues with an open mind. They could have your best interests at heart.

Most importantly you deserve to marry the person that you want to. More people’s lives have been ruined by marrying the person they didn’t want to marry than by marrying the person they wanted to marry. There is no guarantee that your marriage will work out. But if you are marrying someone that you want then you will work hard to make it work.